Daybreakers (2009)

brightwalldarkroom:

FUCK IT, LET’S HAVE A BARBECUE.

by Ed Herro

The question driving Daybreakers is fantastic: What if vampires took over the Earth? But the reality of Daybreakers is painful. The movie clocks in at 98 minutes, which is approximately 89 minutes too long. The first seven minutes of the film and the last two minutes are beautiful pieces of cinema. But more on that later.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Vampires run the world. Only a few humans remain and most of them are hooked-up, Matrix-style, and farmed for blood. The vamps have jobs, cars and mortgages. They go to Starbucks for iced, blood lattes. They have fascinating technology to deal with their sunlight allergy. And all that I just told you is shot in a stark, patient, beautiful style you rarely get out of Hollywood anymore.

Sounds great so far, right? You’ve just watched the first seven minutes, no dialogue has been spoken and you’re in love with everything.

Enter Ethan Hawke (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Right Around Lunchtime), world famous vampire hematologist. With the human blood supply nearing extinction, it’s his job to come up with a human blood substitute. This suits Hawke just fine as he’s expressed ethical concerns about drinking human blood and now only drinks pig blood. Very sympathetic. Definitely “hero” material.

Once the talking starts (aka “The Dark Times”) we meet Hawke’s absurdly evil villain boss, Sam Neil. In the following 89 “middle minutes” Willem Defoe appears as a former-vampire/now-crossbow-wielding-human. He needs Hawke’s help turning vampires back to humans. Hawke considers, agrees, and finds the cure. Then a big fight as Hawke discovers a way to beat the vampires and goes back to his evil boss’ lair, kills him and saves the day. Sorry. Spoiler Alert or whatever.

Made it? Great. Almost through. But they’ve got one last treat for us before we all get up and demand our money back. It’s a two minute slow-motion scene of grown men ripping each other apart with their hands and teeth.

It was one of the most graphic scenes of violence I’ve ever seen and shot so beautifully that I actually want to see it again… without the whole “movie” part before it.

What does Daybreakers teach us? That a great premise and truly remarkable cinematography do not necessarily make a watchable film. Because make no mistake, Daybreakers is one of the most unwatchable mainstream movies in years (and yes, I saw All About Steve, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and whatever Nicholas Cage made last year).

That being said, the twin brother directors, Michael and Peter Spierig elevate cinema just a bit with that great opening and closing scenes. It’s just too bad they had to stick their two masterpieces together with trite dialogue, obvious character backstory, and obvious plot development.

Ed Herro lives in Brooklyn and, like everyone else there, is a writer.